Thursday, February 11, 2016

38.

I approach birthdays a little like I do New Years.  It's a time of reflection of the past year and a look into how you want this next year to go.  It marks another year gone of this thing we call life and I get all sorts of feelings about it.  Last week I said goodbye to 37 and welcomed 38...

I also believe strongly that birthdays are meant to be celebrated.  To quote Dr. Seuss..."Wake up!  For today is your day of all days!  Today you are you that is truer than true.  There is no one alive who is youer than you."  It's a day just for you...not a day to be skipped over quickly, not a day to have to go to work...a day to do what makes you happy.  I like to keep it simple and surround myself with loved ones. I started the day with hugs and birthday wishes from my favorite girls.  They are figuring out this whole birthday thing and how special they are.  The day was spent with my family in the morning and a hike along with an afternoon brewery trip with my favorite guy...

It may be February but we had a gorgeous, blue sky day and the trail to ourselves.  Oh how I love the quiet in the mountains in the winter.  As much as I miss having the birds around, there is something about the peace and calm this time of year.  We topped the day off with a cheesecake lovingly made by Matt and Layla and a scavenger hunt made by the girls.  So sweet.  

I also believe in stretching birthdays out for a whole week so we kept it going through the weekend.  Matt had planned a night away at one of Montana's best places...Rainbow Ranch in Big Sky.  We kissed the kids goodbye and headed for this beautiful mountain resort.  It did not disappoint...

It is the most relaxing place.  We spent the next 24 hours drinking wine, eating good food, sitting outside on our patio listening the partially frozen river ramble by and then warming up by the fireplace inside.  Throw in plenty of time soaking in their amazing hot tub taking in the mountain views...

One night is simply not enough here.  I left feeling rejuvenated and oh-so-grateful for my husband.  He's so good.  

Now I'm in the next year of life.  38.  This is what I know...

-I am beginning 38 as a non-runner.  
This is difficult as I've been running for the past 20 years.  After hurting myself last spring, my 37 year old self kept pushing on.  I finally gave in and stopped to give myself time to heal.  It has been hard.  Now at 38 I have come to terms with it.  I will continue to try and heal and know that by being gentle I may be able to end my 38th year as a runner again.

-I am sad to see my thirties come to an end.  
I try not to worry too much about age.  Knowing each year continues to get better.  However, I have loved my thirties so very much.  I sort of wish I could rewind them.  I wouldn't do anything different I just want to do them again.  I found my twenties, like most, such a confusing time.  The contentment that has come with this decade makes everything so much easier.  Calmer.  I wish it would all just slow down a bit.

-I'm right where I want to be.
I'm so happy where I am in life right now as a 38 year old mom, wife, person.  Living in this beautiful community where the mountains are just a hop skip and jump away.  Near family and friends.  But...

-I wish for adventure.
As much as I love it here, I never thought I'd end up raising a family in my hometown.  Giving them similar experiences of my own childhood.  While there is so much good in this, I sometimes long for something else...a new place, a new adventure, giving them a totally different experience than my own.  Living someplace that perhaps doesn't have nine months of winter...where you don't even have to own snow boots.  Seeing how happy and thriving they are I can't imagine taking them away from it and I know adventure is still in our future.  It may just be a several years away.  This is okay.  I'm really getting into Matt's plan for "the year of the van" after Layla goes off to college.

-I am grateful.  Happy.  
I have always believed in looking for the good in things and finding gratitude in life.  In the past couple of years I've really tried to act on this rather than just think it.  Making it more a way of life...finding the happy in situations, meditating and taking time to feel truly grateful for things that happened throughout the day.  It's a constant practice, but it is becoming more natural.  Maybe it comes with age.  If that's the case than I am so grateful for my 38th year.  

Cheers to many more birthday celebrations.